Articles - Self Help

The Courage To Quit
To Thrive in 2012, Emulate the Successful

If you have fond memories of 2011, consider yourself lucky. In reflecting on what’s transpired, most think of sky-high unemployment, rampant economic insecurity, and job satisfaction being at an all-time low.

In today’s difficult economy, it’s never been clearer that the only one you can count on in life is you. Lifetime employment has become a laughable oxymoron and being able to keep your job simply because you’re good at what you do is an illusion.

2012 doesn’t have to be a repeat of 2011 and holds meaningful potential if the right steps are taken. To thrive, emulate the 5 Key Steps of the Successful. If you do, 2012 will be an amazing year.

Articles - Self Help

Last week, one of my coaching clients had his grandmother pass away. She was age 97. She did not have much money. She did, however, have quite a collection of furniture. Despite his personal desires, my client was persuaded by the other members of the family to assume ownership of the furniture. He already had all the furniture he needed. Now, he was acquiring a truckload of out-of-style furniture. And, the unspoken contract he had with the rest of his family did not allow him to sell or dispose of grandma’s furniture. His parents, aunts and uncles did not want the furniture, but they wanted it to stay in the family, forever.

How often in our own lives do we assume ownership of the “family furniture”? “Family furniture” is akin to beliefs and expectations. Family beliefs and expectations are thrust on us like my client’s unwanted furniture. The desire not to disappoint makes the unspoken contracts binding. We are expected to abide by family beliefs and expectations, quietly and obediently. Perhaps we are expected to inherit and run the family business, or go to college, or vote democrat/republican. Failure to comply amounts to failure as an individual. Parents lay out the blueprint. We follow. The round peg gets pounded into the square hole crushing our spirits and preventing us from becoming the creative individuals God intended us to be. More important than doing what we think we should, is doing what our heart tells us to do. When we deny the desires of our hearts, we miss out on our greatest joy and the world misses out on the unique contribution we are here to make.

As another example, a 70-year-old woman I know always wanted to start an orphanage. Her dream remains unfilled because she is paralyzed by her father’s beliefs and expectations. “Women are teachers, nurses, or housewives/mothers.” She inherited the “family furniture”! Unfortunately, her orphanage is not built and the world is not benefiting from the fine citizens that might be.

Let’s get into my Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit and examine the origin of your beliefs and expectations. Reach into the tool kit for the metaphorical flashlight and level. Use the flashlight to illuminate who is in the room with you when you make decisions. When they speak, is your level in balance or not? If not, reach for the metaphorical hammer. Hammer in beliefs and expectations that bring your level back in balance.

So, if you are going to inherit your “family furniture”, do so with total awareness of what you are accepting. In times of constant change, what worked five years ago may not work today. Follow your dreams thoughtfully and with purpose. You will have a rich and fulfilling life being who you really are!

I invite you to follow my blogs at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com and www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com.

About the Author:

Mindset means everything. And no one knows this better than Julie Rahm. Founder of America's Mindset Mechanic, author of the Military Kids Speak series, and creator of the “Mission: Possible!” Courses, Julie helps people develop the mental toughness to face any challenge. Her clients transcend relationship problems, get the results and wellbeing they desire, and discover their unlimited personal power. With her passion and people-loving style, Julie has provided the tools for thousands of people to bridge the gap between their thoughts and their lives. Julie Rahm, M.S., is a certified Frame of Mind Coach who has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts. She inspired thousands of people to make the most of their lives as the host of “The Mindset Mechanic” program in Eastern NC. Julie provides mindset advice through humor in her weekly column in The Pamlico News. She has been quoted in numerous newspapers, and on the web at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com, www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com and www.WellandWiseOnline.com. An inspirational speaker and workshop leader, she is the author of Handle Everything – Eight Tools You Need to Live Well and Prosper. The daughter of a Navy man, wife of a U.S. Marine, and winner of the Secretary of Defense Award for Excellence, Julie is the Champion of Military Kids around the world.

Articles - Self Help

Salt is big business. In 2007, the total world production of salt was estimated at 257 million metric tons, the top five producers being China (59.8 million tons), the United States (44.5), Germany (19.8), India (16.0), and Canada (11.8). Americans are responsible for most of the demand. We consume more than two-and-a-half times the recommended amount of salt. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend that adults should consume less than 2,300 mg of sodium or about one teaspoon of salt per day. The Center for Disease Control found nearly 70 percent of U.S. adults are in high-risk groups that would benefit from a lower-salt diet of no more than 1,500 mg per day, yet most consume closer to 3,500 mg per day. Nearly everyone is aware of the risks. The Wall Street Journal reported that Pepsi is developing a “designer salt” that is slightly more powdery than the salt it regularly uses. The company hopes this new form of salt will cut sodium levels by 25-percent in its Lay’s potato chips. Nestlé prepared foods company, which produces frozen meals, announced that it will reduce sodium in its foods 10-percent by the year 2015. Also, General Mills announced that it will reduce the sodium content of 40-percent of its foods 20-percent by the year 2015.

It seems everyone is working toward lower salt consumption. But, here in Pamlico County, salt is often consumed in a different way. Salt is sometimes rubbed into the wounds of others. And, even worse, some people rub salt into their own wounds. What do I mean? As an example, one of my clients, a tactless manager, was quick to point out the failures of others. He put salt in others’ wounds. His managerial style rendered him less effective than his counterparts. Instead of instructing, this manager would critique his employees in a harsh demeaning way. Productivity suffered until the manager was able to hear and feel the words he delivered. Once he stopped putting salt in wounds, productivity increased and the workplace environment improved dramatically. Most often, others know they have failed and don’t need to feel any additive pain.

Another misuse of salt is putting it in your own wounds. Self ridicule and negative self talk leads to underachieving. Your mind is your most powerful asset. Unfortunately, if you speak ill of yourself, your mind will believe what you tell it. What you focus on grows. The ability to turn a negative thought into a positive thought is the vital ingredient for a successful and fulfilling life. So, easy with the salt! Leave salt out of your wounds and be kind in what you say to yourself and others. Your mindset is the difference between achieving your desires and falling short.

I invite you to follow my blogs at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com and www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com.

About the Author:

Mindset means everything. And no one knows this better than Julie Rahm. Founder of America's Mindset Mechanic, author of the Military Kids Speak series, and creator of the “Mission: Possible!” Courses, Julie helps people develop the mental toughness to face any challenge. Her clients transcend relationship problems, get the results and wellbeing they desire, and discover their unlimited personal power. With her passion and people-loving style, Julie has provided the tools for thousands of people to bridge the gap between their thoughts and their lives. Julie Rahm, M.S., is a certified Frame of Mind Coach who has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts. She inspired thousands of people to make the most of their lives as the host of “The Mindset Mechanic” program in Eastern NC. Julie provides mindset advice through humor in her weekly column in The Pamlico News. She has been quoted in numerous newspapers, and on the web at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com, www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com and www.WellandWiseOnline.com. An inspirational speaker and workshop leader, she is the author of Handle Everything – Eight Tools You Need to Live Well and Prosper. The daughter of a Navy man, wife of a U.S. Marine, and winner of the Secretary of Defense Award for Excellence, Julie is the Champion of Military Kids around the world.

Articles - Self Help

Consider that your attention is a very important commodity. When you are using your computer, companies are using Internet programs to track where your attention goes. Businesses pay huge money to learn what you are watching. Media outlets subscribe to ratings services. Grocery stores have membership cards to track your purchases. In addition, your boss, co-workers, spouse, children, friends and pets all compete for your attention. Indeed, attention is one of your most valuable commodities.

So what happens when your attention is undisciplined? Have you ever watched a puppy play? Our puppy Tank sniffs around the backyard randomly from one scent to another. His path resembles a spider web or modern art. By not mastering your attention, you become like meandering Tank. Since energy flows where attention goes, allowing attention to wander drains your energy. Fatigue and overwhelm set in even if you sat behind a desk all day. Your attention must be corralled.

Let’s get into my Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit and tune up your ability to focus attention by choosing your thoughts! First, determine where you spend your attention throughout the day. Use the metaphorical flashlight to illuminate your thoughts. Try this exercise. At the end of each day, review where you spent attention and whether your energy level (alert, focused, awake) was low, medium or high. Draw a chart with time on the horizontal line and energy level on the vertical line. Plot your energy level each hour with a word describing what you were doing. Notice the patterns that develop.

Typically, your attention will flow in three ways: (1) toward the outside world, (2) toward your internal world, (3) toward creativity and other people. Attention grabbers in the outside world are simply anything that distracts you. The attention grabber in the internal world is the insecure ego. It heckles you are not good enough; you messed up again; and you deserve things you do not have. Between the distractions of the external and internal worlds, you have no energy left to expend on creative endeavors and relationships. Instead, you may find yourself in a downward spiral looking to others to replenish your energy. Often, others have the same energy deficits and are seeking a boost from you. The deficits collide and relationships suffer.

Replenish your own energy by reaching into the Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit. Based on the charts you made, use the metaphorical hammer to hammer in the framework for focusing attention on what keeps your energy level high. Trade negative self-talk for a positive vision of your future. Then, develop a daily habit of meditating for 15 minutes. Meditating connects you to God, the infinite energy source.

So manage your attention and keep your energy high. Energy flows where your attention goes. Enjoy your new-found energy in creative expression and relationships!

Learn more about the Mindset Mechanic and her tool kit online at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com. Check out The Mindset Mechanic program on iTunes.

About the Author:

Mindset means everything. And no one knows this better than Julie Rahm. Founder of America's Mindset Mechanic, author of the Military Kids Speak series, and creator of the “Mission: Possible!” Courses, Julie helps people develop the mental toughness to face any challenge. Her clients transcend relationship problems, get the results and wellbeing they desire, and discover their unlimited personal power. With her passion and people-loving style, Julie has provided the tools for thousands of people to bridge the gap between their thoughts and their lives. Julie Rahm, M.S., is a certified Frame of Mind Coach who has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts. She inspired thousands of people to make the most of their lives as the host of “The Mindset Mechanic” program in Eastern NC. Julie provides mindset advice through humor in her weekly column in The Pamlico News. She has been quoted in numerous newspapers, and on the web at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com, www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com and www.WellandWiseOnline.com. An inspirational speaker and workshop leader, she is the author of Handle Everything – Eight Tools You Need to Live Well and Prosper. The daughter of a Navy man, wife of a U.S. Marine, and winner of the Secretary of Defense Award for Excellence, Julie is the Champion of Military Kids around the world.

Articles - Self Help

What word comes to mind as you think about Valentine’s Day? Love is the number one response. Romance and chocolate are close seconds. When I ask men, they laugh and say “extortion”, a la Jay Leno. Whatever comes to mind, your thoughts about Valentine’s Day reveal the reality of your love relationship. Is it time for a romance tune-up? If so, let’s get into the Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit and get to it.

To rekindle romance, it takes a peak performance mindset. A peak performance mindset means mastering your mind, body, productivity, and influence. Yes, the mindset that drives business success can also create romantic success!

Master your mind Use the metaphorical level to reveal whether positive or negative thoughts are ruling your relationship. Your thoughts affect the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act. And the way you act affects the results you get. A positive, romantic love relationship starts with positive thoughts. When the level is tilting from the weight of negative thoughts, use the metaphorical pliers to pluck the thoughts from your mind. If you are holding onto past negative thoughts, it is time to pluck them out and let them go! Then, hammer in believable better-feeling thoughts until the level is in balance again. Start by thinking of your partner’s positive attributes.

Master your body Without a healthy body you will not have the energy you deserve and will be too fatigued to enjoy your partner! The physical body is home for your mind and spirit. Are you a caretaker or a slumlord? Use the metaphorical flashlight to examine the thoughts you have about your health. Do you take responsibility for your weight, for eating healthy foods, and for exercising regularly? If not, use the metaphorical hammer and hammer in the thought that nothing else is more important than maintaining a healthy, vibrant body.

Master your productivity In the context of personal love relationships, productivity means asking yourself each day, “Where does this day fit into the big picture”? Use the metaphorical plumb line to align with the actions you need to take each day to advance your relationship forward.

Master your influence Mastering influence means mastering communication skills. Use the metaphorical flashlight to examine your thoughts about communicating. Do you need to be right? If so, use the metaphorical pliers to pluck out that thought. Nothing impedes romance like a partner’s need to be right! And, the person who is busy being right is not listening. Use the metaphorical hammer to hammer in a balance between talking and listening. Use the pliers to pluck out thoughts of criticism and judgment. Then, hammer in thoughts of kindness as you communicate with each other.

A romance tune-up is as simple as applying a peak performance mindset to personal love relationships. Master your mind, body, productivity and influence with your partner and feel the heat rise. Your re-kindled romance will be ablaze with passion!

Find more from America’s Mindset Mechanic online at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com and www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com.

About the Author:

Mindset means everything. And no one knows this better than Julie Rahm. Founder of America's Mindset Mechanic, author of the Military Kids Speak series, and creator of the “Mission: Possible!” Courses, Julie helps people develop the mental toughness to face any challenge. Her clients transcend relationship problems, get the results and wellbeing they desire, and discover their unlimited personal power. With her passion and people-loving style, Julie has provided the tools for thousands of people to bridge the gap between their thoughts and their lives. Julie Rahm, M.S., is a certified Frame of Mind Coach who has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts. She inspired thousands of people to make the most of their lives as the host of “The Mindset Mechanic” program in Eastern NC. Julie provides mindset advice through humor in her weekly column in The Pamlico News. She has been quoted in numerous newspapers, and on the web at www.AmericasMindsetMechanic.com, www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com and www.WellandWiseOnline.com. An inspirational speaker and workshop leader, she is the author of Handle Everything – Eight Tools You Need to Live Well and Prosper. The daughter of a Navy man, wife of a U.S. Marine, and winner of the Secretary of Defense Award for Excellence, Julie is the Champion of Military Kids around the world.

Articles - Self Help

Boiling frogs is an acquired skill learned through patience. Frog boiling expertise gets passed from one person to the next by mentorship and example. The challenge to frog boiling is that placing the frog in already boiling water will result in the frog jumping out of the pot. Even worse, the frog will not get back into the pot once he knows the water is hot. The secret method to properly boiling a frog is to start the frog comfortably in a pot of cool water and gradually turn up the heat. Soon, the frog is boiled and he didn’t see it coming.

Articles - Self Help

I Am going to admit, I Receive most of My Thoughts and Ideas while in the shower. Today I Thought of this concept “The Spellbound Effect”, it goes as such. Do You notice when You are intrigued with some one such as a movie star, author, business owner, Friend, etc… Some one You look up to, it is cause there is some thing in them that You either wish to possess or detest.

What I mean is, Have You noticed We are interested in what goes on in others Lives both negative and positive. For example gossip magazines, media, news, etc… What ever is Being presented, You are some what interested to know, and You end up over time following some one’s Life when ever possible.

Now, why Do We Do this? Why Do We Care what is going on in some one’s Life? I Believe it is because they are Resonating some thing You wish to possess or detest. This is Powerful, as it Can Help You Grow either way. Let’s say You Have a Mentor, some one You Can model to Be. They possess Qualities You Desire to Emanate. The Easiest way to get these Qualities is to associate Your Self with some one who Has what You Desire.

This also, works for the latter. If People around You possess lesser Qualities, things You detest, then this will propel You to search for the Qualities You wish to Have! Or You will continue to Be some one You dislike. Now, “Where are You going with this?” You may ask,¬† “We are all drawn to People that Aspire to Be Great!”. I Call this “The Spellbound Effect”!!!

We are Attracted to People who Achieve what they Desire! However, why are We interested in the negative things others Do? Well, that is because there is some thing within Us that detests that, and wishes to make it Better. So, instead of making things Better in Our Self, We continue to read, watch, and listen to the stuff out there that is negative, and will continue to Attract the stuff that You detest. The only way to change what You Do not Like out there, You must change what You are within! When You Do this, I Promise You will Enjoy the Experiences in Your Life!

Now, surround Your Self with Good Thoughts, and Great People! Use “The Spellbound Effect” to Your advantage!

Enjoy!